Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did, and the following morning Johnny described everything to his mother. Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for awhile, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started to kiss and hug her, I figured sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like the doctor would. Except he’s not as good as the doctor, because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. He was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been getting cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time, sis got toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I know it was a fever because sis told him she was really HOT. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick…a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there about 9 inches long. HONEST! Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it she got really scared. Her eyes big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. I should tell her about the ones I saw at the lake! Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of the sudden, she made a noise and lit the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel’s head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it. And he helped by laying on the top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squishing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend sat up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of it’s insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went on courting anyway. He started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats…they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After about 35 minutes of struggle, they finally killed the eel. I know it was dead this time because I saw sis’s boyfriend peel off the skin and flush it down the toilet.
Mother fainted.

Early one Christmas morning, Suzy, a shapely young woman was sitting by the fireplace eagerly but patiently awaiting the arrival of old St.Nick. After a few hours and even a few more heavily laced bourbon egg-nogs she heard a noise on the roof and sure enough Santa was soon standing before her.
“Have you been naughty or nice this year?”" he asked.
Suzy had been nice all damn year and was ready to do the other thing. While Santa placed his gifts around the tree Suzy was busy taking off her blouse. He turned around and heard her say “”Santa…can you please stay?”"
Thinking of all the children who were awaiting presents Santa replied in a jolly voice:
“HO HO HO Santas gotta go!”
Suzy, still confident, took off her pants.”Santa…Please stay?”
Santa was firm but Jolly “HO HO HO Santas gotta GO!!”
She took of her bra”Please stay?”
His eyes widened a little but the reply was the same” HO HO HO Santas gotta GO!”
Finally Suzy took off her panties, lay upon the bearskin rug and spread her legs.
“Staying or going?”
Santa wiped the drool from his mouth and said:
“HEY HEY HEY Santas gotta STAY, can\’t up the chimney with the boner in the way!!”

Once there was a nun that rode the bus every night precisely at 8:30pm. she rode the same bus with the same bus driver.And every night she would get off the bus at the same place. Well, one night there was this guy who got on the bus. He noticed this nun sitting there.He started thinking to himself,”man that nun is really hot!”" And every night for a week he rode the same bus at the same time and he would see this nun.After a week he was really horny because of this nun. So one night after the nun got off the bus he went up to the bus driver. “”man that nun is hot. I would love to get a piece of ass from her

A man was going to go on vacation,and in order to make sure that his wife didn’t have sex with anybody else, he went to buy her a present. He walked into a small store on the corner, and told the owner his situation.
The owner felt that he had a solution, and pulled out a small box. Inside the box was a dildo.The man said” So what

Two dicks were sitting together one day and talking. The first one says, “I like my master

There was this guy who was on a safari to Africa, and gets caught by a tribe. The leader asks him,”Do you want Hisoku or death?”" The guy opts for Hisoku thinking it’ll be better than death.

The tribespeople strip him

One day Joe decided to go enjoy the outdoors with a round of golf. He was doing great untill the last hole when he sliced one way left into a field of beautiful buttercups.
Still upset about his lousy shot he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful the flowers were. He carefully walked through the field making sure not to step on any of the buttercups. Then all of the sudden, a voice from above says “Joe thank you so much for being so carefull not to step on my flowers.”" “”Who’s there?”" asks Joe. “”It’s me

Two parents take their 6 year old son to a nude beach. Upon arrival the parents tell their son to go play. After about 10 minutes of the sons playing, he returns to his mother and asks her why all the other women have a bigger rack then her. She simply replys that the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off to go play again and returns after another 10 minutes and asks his mother why the other men have a bigger member then his dad. The mother again replys the bigger the package the dumber the person. The boy runs off and returns in five minutes and excitedly tells his mother, “MOM

A little boy asked his mom if he could take a shower with her, she said “Sure just don’t look up and don’t look down.”" So they get in the shower and the boy looked up and said “”mom what are those?”" She said “”Those are my headlights.”" Then the boy looked down and asked “”What is that?”" She said “”That is my grass.”" Then they get out of the shower and the boy asked his father if he could take a shower with him

There is a king and he calls a american guy a italian guy and a chinese guy to come to his palace

“my wife wants to have a blue baby”" he says.

So the american guy goes in